It’s time for a pet peeve of mine. Ready? It’s the dual strike of “Christian” bumper stickers and the fish emblem on cars. I’ve disliked these for quite awhile but the flames are burning higher recently because I stumbled across this recent offender on a car in front of me at a stop light: “Don’t expect a party in hell; it’s been cancelled due to fire.” Nice huh?

There are several things that bother me about it (besides it’s tastelessness and crassness which is a given). First, I’m not sure what the driver is trying to accomplish by displaying this. I suspect they are rationalizing this as some sort of witnessing tool. I guess they hope someone will read it and respond with “Wow. I never quite thought of things like that before. I think he’s right. I need to ask God to forgive me for my sins and be born again right away. I’m off to church and if I’m lucky maybe they’ll have an altar call.”

What I think really happens is people either look at it and respond indifferently (“Heh. That’s kinda funny.”) or even worse, are offended and pushed away from faith. Jesus told us to “Let your light [not your bumper stickers or your fish emblems] so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which is in heaven.The only ones who really enjoy these silly bumper stickers are other Christians.

And I think that is the true purpose behind the bumper stickers and the fish: they serve as a way for Christians to identify each other out in public. It serves the same function as the secret handshake or gang colors – a means of strengthening solidarity.

That said, it is now time for the “Christian” bumper sticker Hall of Shame. Besides the obvious stinker above, these are the ones I found particularly silly and/or offensive.

  • On Judgment Day, you’ll wish your car had Jesus stickers.
  • Jesus my judge or Jesus my lawyer. It’s your choice.
  • Got Jesus? It’s Hell without him.
  • After the rapture give this car to my mother-in-law.
  • Too blessed to be depressed.
  • Go to church. Don’t wait for the hearse to take you.
  • God created Adam & Eve not Adam & Steve.
  • Born once – die twice. Born twice – die once.

Feel free to email or comment if you have further nominations and I’ll add them to a future post. I think I’ve found the most offensive but I could easily be wrong.